‘Twas The Night Before (A Firefighter’s) Christmas

‘Twas The Night Before (A Firefighter’s) Christmas

‘Twas the night before Christmas, when you should be sleeping And burglars prepare to find things for keeping. Stockings with eye-holes were pulled over their heads with care To disguise their appearance and to cover their hair. ‘Tis the season for robbing and...
Straight Outta Animal Control

Straight Outta Animal Control

Maybe you’re privileged enough to work for a department that has an Animal Control Officer. And if you are, it won’t make much difference because they’re probably never around when you need one. You may think I’m psychic or that I’m reading your mail, but I’m not....
Spike Strips And Collateral Damage

Spike Strips And Collateral Damage

The reason it didn’t quite work right was probably somewhere in the fine print — where it says the product will only work perfectly during a Harvest Moon in a leap year between the hours of 9 and 10 pm when the temperature is above 60 degrees Fahrenheit and you...
Slippery When Wet

Slippery When Wet

Getting sent to a Check Condition call is like playing Russian Roulette. It could be a whole lot of nothing, or it could be a whole lot of paperwork. Or people’s heads blowing off, or whatever. The woman on the first floor lived alone, and normally when she had...
The Curse of Competency

The Curse of Competency

Everyone wants to be good at something. That is, right up until the point their supervisor notices. One of the problems with unionization is that it’s almost impossible to fire someone. And let’s face it, some people just need to be fired. It’s not personal, it’s just...